Trapped In My Castle
Some days I feel like Cinderella, imprisoned in a bad story that has me bogged down with labor and dressed in rags. I married my prince, but he is now deteriorating before my eyes.
Peering out the window and feeling trapped in my castle, I thought to myself, “Can anyone see the silent pain that I carry deep inside? I need someone to hold me tight.”
The room was quiet, lit only from the morning sun spilling through the glass. The silence was broken when I heard a Man’s voice behind me, “I see you and your pain.”
When I turned, Jesus was standing there. The room was filled with the power of His presence, mingled with compassion. Holding out His right hand, the Lord said, “Join your hand in Mine and dance with Me.”
Captivated by His gesture, I moved toward Jesus. All anxiety melted away as we began swaying to the soft melody that He was singing over me. Consumed with unspeakable joy, I began to twirl like a ballerina. Smiling at my child-like faith, the Lord said, “Look down at your garment, for I have adorned you with My glorious robe of Righteousness. Your jewels sparkle as you spin in joyful abandonment. Rest in My love, for I rejoice over you, My dear.”
My heart racing, still swept-up in the moment, I said, “You have shown me the wonders of Your love and my heart delights in You. Will You meet with me again tomorrow, Lord?”
Looking at me with eyes that pierced my soul, the Lord said, “I will hear you in the morning when you call My name. Wait expectantly, for I will come to you.”
Comforted by Genesis 16:13; Isaiah 61:10; Zephaniah 3:17; Psalm 5:3, 34:15
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The snowstorm has caused the atmosphere to become thick in a composition of white, gray, and black; colorless, like the canvas of my soul. Out of nowhere, a beam of light cuts through the clouds, radiating in a spectrum of colors.
This decision is too much for me. Closing my eyes to rest my mind, I soon found myself running down a narrow tree-lined path. Something was chasing me and the horror I felt seemed real. Shadows began casting their long images over the pathway, but I noticed a Light in the distance. I kept pushing toward that Light until the trail emptied into a courtyard and my feet landed at the threshold of a gate.
Pulling my injured foot from a salt bath, I noticed a perfect image of my footprint resting on the bottom of the black metal pot. Not trusting what I was seeing, I reached down to stir the water. To my surprise, the faint impression of my foot would fade in and out, disappearing and reappearing with the water’s movement and the light’s reflection.
I am questioning my abilities as this trial keeps unfolding, Lord. It feels as though I am missing the mark at every turn, falling short of my expectations, becoming a judge in my own court of self-condemnation.
I am covered in dirt as I comb through the rubble of my life, seeking to find any familiar remnant from the crumbled walls of normalcy. Wiping my eyes, I catch a glimmer of something shiny buried under the wreckage.
Dawn is breaking and doubts start rising on the horizon of my heart. My spirit lifts with the possibility of a miracle emerging with a new day, but my soul is hiding a secret hope that my hard service might be completed.